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ANDRE PREFONTAINE

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The Rusty Toque | Issue 11 | Poetry | November 30, 2016

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HOUDINI

I call him Houdini,
the only man I’d ever known
who could turn a ladybug
into the best birthday present ever
with a flick of his wrist
even though it crawled
on top his fingertip
and flew away
kinda like how he did.
 
My earliest memories are of a fishing trip
where we could only catch sea weed
so we wore it
on top of our heads as wigs
Houdini
and I’ve made those moments
cinematic masterpieces captured
through the lens of a child’s eye,
developed into coming of age clips
labelled Remember When,
a home movie often watched
while staring off into the bar drunk
waiting for the drugs to show up
because he never did.
 
If all the world’s a stage
then here is my tightrope walk
along the borderline:
my human cannon ball projection,
my poor impulse control,
the funhouse mirrors sideshow
of my self perception.
Silence
is the only noise
I do not know
how to make.
 
Houdini needed a quiet audience
so he utilized the force
of a lion tamer’s whip
in lieu of a magic wand.
 
We are born into the hands
of strangers, can only hope to God
they know what’s best for us.
 
Houdini
 
Was it that hard to hear my secret?
I know magicians never reveal theirs
so I wondered were you as scared
as I was when I told you
I was gay?
Were you so afraid to be seen
with a homosexual
that you shut your own closet door,
shut it tight and allowed the chains
from which you thought you broke free
become the bondage
for someone else?
 
It’s been thirteen years. You’ve missed
my valedictorian address
my addiction
my sobriety
my accomplishments
and I miss you.
 
You are nothing
but a cardboard cutout
in the phantom aspects
of my imagination.
I wonder what Fathers Day
would be like
if you were here
with me.
 
I am my father’s son
but I refuse to abandon you
the same way
you abandoned me.
I will not wait for a eulogy
to tell you I love you.
I will not wait for you
to be on your deathbed
before I tuck you in at night 
and say I love you
Papa, I love you!
 
These words have been fluttering
inside my stomach
like uncontrollable butterflies
I’ve finally been able to strap string to
and make them fly in formation.
Papa, can you see this?
 
I love you.
I learned a magic trick.
It’s called forgiveness.
Let me know if you’d like to see it.
because I would love
to see you.

Andre Prefontaine came in 1st place on April 30th at the Canadian Individual Poetry Slam Finals Night Competition at the Rio Theater in Vancouver, making Andre the 2016 Canadian Individual Poetry Slam Champion. This is Andre's third-round poem Houdini.

Vancouver Poetry Slam, 2016

ANDRE PREFONTAINE is the 2016 Canadian Individual Slam Champion and will represent Canada at the 2017 World Cup of Poetry in Paris, France. He’s a graduate of Buddies in Bad Times "Young Creators Unit," where he honed his one-man show "(mE)dith Piaf". Always unabashed and unapologetic, he’s a former longtime Calgary resident who now lives (and loves) in Toronto.