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SOUVANKHAM THAMMAVONGSA


The Rusty Toque | Issue 13 | Poetry | November 30, 2017

Clown

​  
 
He was standing at the corner with all his blown-up balloons
 
 
He made shapes out of the air and no one understood what it was for
 
 
He held these out to anyone who would take them and said they were animals or flowers, his heart
 
 
He had spent years training for this moment on the corner handing out nothing
 
 
His big bright red shoes glowed like his hair and eyes and mouth
 
 
He wanted us all to stop and listen and look at what he made and be his friend
 
 
He insisted what he made was art
 
 
We had all loved this clown once before and joined his brand of entertainment
 
 
We saw what he looked like without all that make-up, the prop, the candy
 
 
I love you, he said, and we filed out of our houses and filled up the city for him
 
 
We alone understood what he made
 
 
We were there when the rooms filled with the friends he wanted
 
 
We were there before you were, before you knew you could win
 
 
And when I quit and spun to split the green bottles spinning he turned and disappeared
 
 
A clown is a clown and will always go back to being a clown
 
 
It is the sadness of his calling, the joke and code of his ethic
SOUVANKHAM THAMMAVONGSA is writer in residence at the University of Ottawa. Her writing has appeared in Granta, NOON, and other places.
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  • Home
    • Issue 1 >
      • Creative Nonfiction: 1
      • Fiction: 1
      • Screenwriting: 1
      • Poetry: 1
      • Contributors: 1
    • Issue 2 >
      • Visual Art: 2
      • Fiction: 2
      • Poetry: 2
      • Masthead: 2
      • Contributors: 2
    • Issue 3 >
      • Poetry: 3
      • Visual Art: 3
      • Comics: 3
      • Fiction: 3
      • Reviews: 3
      • Masthead: 3
      • Contributors: 3
    • Issue 4 >
      • Prose: 4
      • Poetry: 4
      • Reviews: 4
      • Visual Art: 4
      • Contributors: 4
      • Masthead: 4
    • Issue 5 >
      • Nonfiction Kathy Acker & McKenzie Wark
      • Drama: 5
      • Prose: 5
      • Poetry: 5
      • Film: 5
      • Comics: 5
      • Reviews: 5
      • Visual Art: 5
      • Video & Sound: 5
      • Masthead: 5
      • Contributors: 5
    • Issue 6 >
      • Poetry: 6
      • Prose: 6
      • Reviews: 6
      • Film: 6
      • Visual Art: 6
      • Masthead: 6
      • Contributors: 6
    • Issue 7 >
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      • Poetry: 7
      • Reviews: 7
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    • Issue 8 >
      • Poetry: 8
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      • Contributors: 8
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    • Issue 9 >
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    • Issue 10 >
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      • Film: 10
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      • Contributors: 10
      • Masthead: 10
    • Issue 11 >
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      • Visual Art: 11
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      • Contributors: 11
      • Masthead: 11
    • Issue 12 >
      • Poetry: 12
      • Prose: 12
      • Reviews: 12
      • Visual Art: 12
      • Contributors: 12
      • Masthead: 12
    • Issue 13 >
      • Poetry: 13
      • Fiction: 13
      • Nonfiction: 13
      • Visual Art: 13
      • Comics: 13
      • Reviews: 13
      • Contributors: 13
      • Masthead: 13
  • About
    • Masthead
    • Mission
    • Meet Our Editors
    • Contact
    • Chapbooks
  • Rusty Reviews
    • Rusty Recs
  • Special Features
  • On the Line